I pretended to like running.
He asked me to run my eye over his dating app profile for tips on getting more dates.
We laughed a lot but there was no spark.
I actually had to text for an SOS call.
He couldn’t stop talking about how much money he made and I got the ick.
We went to the movies and he used all his pocket money to pay for me.
He was way too nervous.
I loved his accent, he could have said anything.
We bumped into his ex-girlfriend.
He pretended to miss his train home.
He seemed really great but then he ghosted me.
We fell madly in love on the spot.
He talked non-stop about being a triplet.
He told me he was moving away the following week.
The sun was shining and I felt so peaceful.
He looked like my ex.
He texted me a list of all the things he didn’t like about me afterwards.
We ate sundaes and chatted on the beach.
He waited outside the bar for me to arrive even though it was cold and raining.
He texted me afterwards to say he had COVID.
The prosecco never stopped flowing.
He tried to kiss me and I pretended to have a cold coming on.
His teeth were complete and utter chaos.
He ordered red wine and I thought he was so sophisticated.
He told me he would never put a woman before his work and that he sometimes slept at the office.
We went for a walk and he wasn’t interested in the frolicking deer.
He told me he was obsessed with me and then sent me a dick pic.
We sat on a couch in a mall and people-watched for ages.
He was actually great but I realised I liked someone else.
My gaydar was screaming.
He told me he was vegan and I was operating a strict ‘no dietary requirements’ policy.
I was dressed in costume for a party later on and he didn’t bat an eyelid.
He wore a great shirt and his accent was fancy.
I didn’t know if it was a date or not.
He was a bit of a dork, but a considerate dork.
We met for lunch and parted 48 hours later.
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